Why You Can’t Trust How You See Yourself

How we see ourselves influences everything you do. The problem is we can’t trust the way we view ourselves. Why and what should we do about it?

see yourself

I loved spending time with my grandmother. I have many wonderful memories of time spent with her. One of the coolest thing was she was one of those people you could be so comfortable just being with that conversation wasn’t necessary.

One day we were sitting together, and she broke the silence with an observation about me. She said, “K, you have such long, slender fingers.” Now grandma was a wise woman and rarely wrong, but as I looked down at my hand, I thought to myself how wrong she was about this.

When I looked at my hand, all I saw were short stubby fingers. As time passed, she made the same comment several more times, and each time I thought the same thing. Then one day I  realized Grandma wasn’t looking at the palm of my hand, she was looking at the back of my hand. So, I looked at the back of my hand and guess what I saw? Yep, long slender fingers. If I looked at my palm, I still saw short stubby fingers.

What? I flipped my hand over several times with the same result. Back of hand, long slender fingers – palm of hand short stubby fingers. It turns out both of us were correct.

I learned a valuable lesson that day, perspective matters.

What does that have to do with discovering and living our unique story? Simple, we have a tendency to look at ourselves from our perspective, but we can’t trust that we see is true.

“Your perspective will influence how you invest your time, spend your money, use your talents, and value your relationships.” Rick Warren, Purpose Driven Life.

The key is seeing ourselves from God’s point of view.

Who do you see when you look into the mirror? Who do you think Jesus sees?

We think the only assessment of ourselves we can trust is our own, but that just isn’t true. Jesus is the only safe mirror through which we can see our true selves.

“In Jesus, we have a mirror we can trust – He will reflect our true identity back to us directly.” – Rick Lawrence, The Jesus Centered Life.

I have to be honest when I look in the mirror from my perspective I don’t like what I see. That’s because I still see myself from my point of view.

But just as when I changed the position of my hand I saw it differently, the more I embrace how Jesus sees me it is transforming my perspective.

I love this quote by Brennan Manning in his book, Abba’s Child, “Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is an illusion.”


If we want to discover who He created us to be, we have to change our perspective. We have to define ourselves as He does.  We must see ourselves through His eyes.

“Jesus wants us to know what He sees in us-what He knows is true about us. He is unwilling for us to live under the shadow of a lie about who we really are.” – Rick Lawrence, The Jesus Centered Life.

That’s a game changer. Where I see broken, He sees mended. I’m learning to see myself through His eyes, one grace step at a time.

I think Matthew West’s  song “Mended” sums it up well:

Are you looking at yourself through the right eyes? If not, what is stopping you?

I’m a writer and storyteller. Each week I write about and invite readers to join me on an extraordinary adventure to discover and live the unique story God has penned for each of us.

Don't Miss A Single Issue

Don't Miss A Single Issue

Join our community today as we journey together to discover and live our unique story. You will receive an email each time there is a new blog post (never more than once a week).

6 thoughts on “Why You Can’t Trust How You See Yourself

  1. Great post K! Have you ever struggled though, with the difficulty of walking that thin line between not trusting yourself to get it right, because we are all sinners, and having the confidence to do what we’re called to do? I’m learning that God sees me differently than I see myself, but living day to day I make so many mistakes that I don’t trust myself to make wise decisions in some areas. Even when I ask for God’s guidance I don’t always get it right.

    1. I think we all struggle with this is even though we don’t always get it right He loves us just the same. There is nothing we can do to make Hime love us more and nothing we can do to cause him to love of less. Knowing that has been so freeing for me. I also have to remind myself that life is a journey and it is about progress and not perfection.

  2. This is a very valuable lesson. For years I struggled with my self-image and although I have since learned not to trust my perception and to listen to those close to me instead, this is still a lesson that needs continually reinforcement.

Comments are closed.