It’s early morning and I awake to the song of the birds drifting through my open window. I love that sound and normally when I hear it my thoughts turn to praise and I worship God for the new day He has given me. But not this morning.
Instead of a grateful heart I lie there feeling sorry for myself. I began to dwell on all that is going wrong or at least not how I want it to turn out. My mind churns as I remember what triggered my situation.
It started with the “closet project”. Something I have been wanting to do for a long time. I plan to do a major transformation of the closet. Clearing everything out, getting rid of all the unused and unwanted items and reorganizing what remains in an orderly way.
I envision the final product in my mind and at last I start by removing every single item from the closet. My office, living room, and library look like a hoarder lives here as the closet contents spill over every square inch.
As usual, after completing this first step of the project the pain in my back is so bad I need to take some pain meds and lie down. I am finished me for the day even though I don’t want to stop.
More than a week passes before I am able to complete phase two of the project. But in doing so I set off a major “Fibro flare” which includes a bought of tendinitis of the rotator cuff and bursitis with impingement. Now the project grinds to a halt.
I try to reign my thoughts in. But it’s so easy to let thoughts spiral out of control. One cascading over the other until I am in a funk emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
That’s exactly where I find myself as lay there listening to the birds sing me awake and I focus on all the is wrong in my life. A sense of overwhelm and panic grips me and I wonder how I will get anything done let alone finish this project. I just want to quit.
Amid my full-blown pity party, I wonder how I will ever to do simple tasks or daily activities again. And what about my calling, how will I fulfill my calling? At that moment a gentle breeze drifts through my window followed by a gentle whisper.
And I hear Him say, “But look at what you have. You have your home and all it contains to enjoy. You have your fur babies lying right beside you. In and through me I meet your every need. The best really is yet to be as our relationship grows deeper and richer than it has ever been. I am all you need and I will give you just enough time to do what I have called you to do.”
Tears of joy well in my eyes as I feel His peace flood over me and I whisper thank you.
“Why am I so overwrought? Wh am I so disturbed? Why can’t I just hope in God? Despite all my emotions, I will believe and praise the One who saves me and is my life.” Psalm 42:5-6 (Voice)
I reach for my phone to check the time and decide to listen to the live worship that my church broadcasts each Tuesday. This is the very first song the worship leader sings:
Wow! Talk about putting an exclamation point on what He has whispered to me. Do I know what is coming next? No. But I know the God who does and I trust Him. My job is to focus on Him and our relationship and not my circumstances. And so I will abide in Him and I will not stop. I will live my story for His glory whatever that looks like.
“I am the vine, and you are the branches. If you abide in Me and I in you, you will bear great fruit. Without Me, you will accomplish nothing.” John 15:5 (Voice)
Friends I don’t know what season you are in right now or what you are going through but I know He loves you so don’t stop. Cling to the Vine because He is all you need. And know that I am praying for you. If you have a specific prayer request, please leave it in the comments below.